'its ok cause everyone just thinks from first to last is a video game.'

Sooo every night I've been like... GOTTA BLOG! DON'T LET IT BUILD UP! but there keeps being really late bus call, like 2am, and I feel like I'm missing out on stuff if I don't hang out. But tonight bus call is 10pm so I have an excuse to go to bed early and play with the interwebz!

Hello interwebz!

This was my first week with Four Year Strong. The bus is driving along now and everyone but me is in the back lounge smoking weed. We are very stoked to actually HAVE a back lounge now though... as up until now it was taken over by The Lordz Of Brooklyn. So they've finished the tour now and it's me, another random merch girl, the three Music Saves Lives kids, and MC Chris and the guy who works with him. And we have space! I moved stuff into DRAWERS today so I no longer have to sleep with everything I own INSIDE my bunk! I also swapped bunks to one with a working lamp! THIS IS EXCITING TO ME. I have a bottom bunk now. I had a top before. I would like a middle, but the only free middle didn't have a proper light either.

So first day with 4YS was Mansfield, MA which is right by their hometown and it was fucking insane. It was flat out ALL DAY and the day was punctuated with thunderstorms. Like really terrible rain. And we still pushed about 10 grand. INSANE. The guys had quite a late set time and they sign after they play, so we were like the only tent still set up... in the bucketing rain... with a huge queue of kids waiting for a signing.. at 8:30pm. Halfway through the day I ran back to the bus to change into my pink rain boots and they got many compliments, especially from FFTL's merch guy, whom I adore. He calls me Australia and we now have a mutual headrub/shoulder massage relationship. It works very well for me. Anyway, besides from that, two things of significance - 1) a redhead tumbled into my tent at approximately 9am politely demanding a 4YS shirt to wear onstage as he wanted to support them at their hometown show. I have spent the whole tour up until now thinking that this guy was really obnoxious and watch me eat my words - he is sugar made human and has no ego to speak of. I am sure you will hear more about him. 2) Farewell's last day. Blahhhh. They played a gorgeous acoustic set which I filmed and later, during the rainstorm, I ran under their lowered tent. Marshall was sat there by himself with a total shit-eating grin, completely dry, and kids were ducking underneath to get stuff signed. It was sort of hilarious. We went and sat on their bus for a while to say bye, took a bunch of polaroids - some of which didn't work out and so Marshall drew what the pics were meant to be, om the fucked up pictures. All kinds of awesome. But sad times, as I don't have anyone else so solid to hang with now. Though the redhead is getting there, maybe.

Next day, Darien Center, was like an hour outside of Buffalo NY, I think? And it was attached to a Six Flags. It was also fucking cold for a while, I took a hoodie from merch and wore it over my own hoodie. My phone completely stopped working due to getting wet in the rain the day before, and I freaked out and ended up wasting $80 on car rides into and out of the town to go to the A T and T store. While I was there, the phone magically started working again. And then I found out I was/am literally broke, so HEY, RAD. I am just not thinking about it and maybe money will magically appear in my account. On this trip into town, I also discovered that we were in the middle of fucking nowhere, upstate New York - like we passed cows and cornfields. When I got back I found out that my friend Matt had a spare phone anyway, which I am now using because it its flippy and cool as shit. I love taking pics with it... never had a camera phone before. I also got very excited when I discovered that the amusement park was free for laminates - I don't even like rides that much but i enjoy my laminate way too much. I will go home and go grocery and be like 'what, I can't cut the line? BUT I HAVE A WARPED TOUR LAMINATE!' I ended up going to the park - was talking with one of the FFTL boys, Chris, and their merch guy Ricky, comes running up completely drunk being all NO LINES LETS GO and Chris and I just shrug at each other and go. But all the rollercoasters closed JUST as we got there, due to lightning risk (the sky was black and it was actually raining.) They'd let kids from the show come in for free as well by this point, and so it was a bit full, but we ended up going on the Flippy Ship (completely the official name... not) and Chris chivalrously swapped places with me right as it was about to start as I was too scared to sit on the outside. It was insane because the guy made it go round like 3 times longer that it's meant to, due to us not having any other rides to go on. When we got off I could barely walk. Wandered aimlessly, talked to some people... the redhead introduced me to Alex Gaskarth from All Time Low, who was fucking drunk off his face, and the most random thing happened:

T: This is Alex, he sings in a band called All Time Low.
N: I know, I actually met you in Australia and asked you...
A: OMGWTFBBQ *almost doubles over, points and backs away grinning, then grabs me in a massive hug* I KNEW I KNEW YOUR FACE. YOU MADE IT!

Becauuuuuseee back at Soundwave I asked him some vague advice about getting on Warped Tour. I met the guy through a fence with like a bunch of other kids, and I don't really listen to his band. So it was completely weird and kind of cool that he remembered. Anyway. William came up to me and the redhead while we were talking and they hugged it out. Batman was discussed, as well as Batmans of the past... I havent seen it yet but after asking permission Bill spoilered me. Also discussed the new TAI video and how the internet are all little bitches. He was not the happiest I have ever seen him, lets just say that, and I kind of am at the point where I want to pull a Chris Crocker on people about him. I forget that not every fan sees what I see at the moment, or knows what I know about whats going on. I get super defensive because I assume people are making judgements based on what I know, rather than the little that they know. And then I remember that oh, yeah, they don't know the actual deal with that... so they'll stfu when they find out about it. I forget that I am in an unusual position for a fan and that they're all where I'm at.. I don't know, either way, homeboy needs to NOT read stuff about himself on the internet. The redhead agrees - says when he does it he wants to go out and start punching kids in the face at his own shows.

Camden NJ - oh Jersey. Oh, dirty Jersey. Camden is actually about 10 mins drive from Philly PA - just across the river - and in honor of this, catering served CheeseSteaks for lunch. Not that I'd eat them.. and not that I get catering any more! Ha. First thing in the morning, Butcher grabbed my by the shoulder as I was setting up merch and was all 'hey your painting is going up for sale today' and I'm like 'ha i know, i already bit on it. - if you're unaware, he's done these paintings that he is selling via auction at their merch and one in particular i fell in love with and was determined to own. We discussed it at The Higher's art show (in their trailer lol) in Toronto and I know he really wanted me to get it, because he liked what I said about it... and I did win it, $75 that I really couldn't afford. And it now lives in my bunk and is the wallpaper to my phone.

Evan my TM took me to the bank to try cash my money order from Steve... as it was the last bit of money on earth that I had. Bank wouldn't do it. Post Office wouldn't do it. Western Union wouldn't do it.. as the thing was over 10 days old and they have some policy, despite the fact that I rang the company and they're meant to be valid for a year. There's some store-to-store policy about what they cash though. And I started freaking out. Ended up going back into production - who think I'm a total idiot I believe - Kevin got dragged into it, they tried to get Steve in so I could get the money off him in cash, but he wasn't even at the tour, so Kevin ended up taking the money order from me, giving me a grand in cash, and taking the money from Steve's pay. Ha. I genuinely hope I never have to go into the production office with an issue again this tour. That night was totally insane. Number 1 - Ryan Dunn. I don't know if you're a Jackass/Viva La Bam/Haggard fan, but I REALLY AM and motherfucking Ryan Dunn was there playing the throw the sandbag in the hole game. WHAT THE HELL. I was lurking for so long waiting for a break in the game cause I wanted to meet him so bad, and Travie made fun of me for falling into a fence during my lurkage. By the way, Trav has a totally badass green moped which I want to steal, and he rides around with Katy on the back all the time. He's gonna kill someone on it though.

After I lurked RYAN DUNN for long enough (I did meet him and get a pic by the way. I was actually nervous. Ha.) I wandered around looking for a cab, and ended up getting a ride into Philly to eat with Suarez and his girly and their friends. I cabbed it back later and got into a really weird mood and wandered around almost in tears, but ended up having an okay night moaning and groaning with Tori and Jack and being endeared by an intoxicated, and still weirdly defensive, Bill. He taught me how to do a hand hug. Cute as kittens. Bus call was really late and I stayed up too long and was so tired the next day.

Uniondale NY - Long Island. This was a great day. I loved it. I went offsite for lunch, took a driver to get pizza and it ended up being Kevin's driver who was filling in for the usual runner. He was so lovely and interested in all the different levels of stuff on the tour. Ended up giving me $20 for my lunch despite the fact I was meant to be paying him... he felt so bad for me I think. I tried very hard to give it back but he wouldn't accept it. And that day I had many varied people to adore there - Natalie, Bel, and Will. Last time that I was gonna see Natalie and Will both for a really long time... Will in March and Natalie.. who knows. There was a bbq that night, another really late bus call.. and usually when I just wander from group to group I get lonely and weird but I had a really good night. Will challenges my brain more than anyone I've met in a really long time, he's so smart and intense that I actually think really hard in order to not feel stupid. I told him this and he says a lot of people call him challenging.. or difficult, if they don't get him. He's one of those people who's not at all swayed by other people as far as self esteem goes, and who says that whole 'you can choose how you feel/choose to be happy' thing. Yeah, I wish. He introduced me to Fred who is the sweetest, most mellow guy alive, and I drifted to hang with Chris for a while, he stole me soda and we watched a bit of High Fidelity on his obnoxiously printed bus. Very fond of that kid already. Also will see him in March! Then Nat and I wandered and she got all *stares* when Suarez pulled me aside and got all stern with me about bailing on him and Lauren the night before. Long story which you don't need to know here. But he thought I was uncomfortable with him as a friend and was all worried and upset that I would feel like that. That wasn't the case anyway, but whatever. It was so cute that he was upset but he was all 'I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU' and Nat and I both jumped. That guy is still one of my fave people here and I can't wait to take him out at home.

Yesterday was Scranton, PA and it was a clusterfuck. The venue was long and narrow and we had to cancel our signing because the line would have clogged up the walkway. In the morning I started making a scrapbook at merch. In the afternoon it rained intensely and started hailing too. It then cleared up and actually got really hot. Watched TAI and Cobra's sets, which were both cut short due to them going on late due to the rain shutting down the stages for a good long while.. then went back to the good old Hurley stage to see what the redhead can do, as I'd never watched them before. Backstage at the Hurley stage I was all *pines* and missing the Spiders and wheeling gear and all the crew that I saw every day and they were all HAI. Especially the truck manager, Large, who likes how 'versatile' I am and may be able to hook me up next year. Mission for the next 10 months: learn to tune and restring a guitar and bass, properly. Went to a hotel and had a very long shower and made the mistake of lying down in the lovely bed and wanting to stay there.. went back up the mountain to the venue, danced to the Grease MegaMix, watched a drum-off, and pretty much fell over from exhaustion.

Today - Englishtown NJ - was just.. nice. The venue was so EASY - smooth blacktop, no gravel, buses very close to the park. It also had really cheap vendor food - $3.50 for a massive dish of fries, $1 for a 6 pack of oreos. It was just a chill, easy day which was sorely needed. I made $16 in tips which meant I can sustain myself for a few days without dipping into my own money. I told the redhead this at the BBQ tonight and he was all 'one day I am going to bring you a plate of food for lunch, and it is going to be completely full and delicious and it will have everything you could possibly want.' Ha. For the record, he's the first person on this tour to take a serious personal interest in my shitty situation re: bus spot/not getting paid and is constantly so concerned about it - wants me to move into his bus/back lounge for free if he can convince his TM. He was making me laugh tonight by saying he wanted to be more of a shitty dude so he could throw a diva fit at the rest of the guys and just demand that it happen. Loves. Bel was here again today which was also great, but it was her last show. If you are reading this, my dear, I will send you a lonnnnng email about... Sandra Sully. Sigh.

Hardcore sleeptime now. Intended to be done by 11:30 and its now 1:30am.. I hope you appreciate it, interwebs.